Today Mom & Dad celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary: Starting the day off by renewing their vows during the homily at 10:00 mass. Admittedly, I felt a bit teary hearing Mom & Dad recite their vows to one another. . . It wasn't a "Do you Sherry take Doug. . . " with an "I do" response; instead it was them saying, "I Doug take you Sherry. . . in sickness and in health. . . til death do us part" -- very cool.
I've been blessed to have parents who still get a twinkle in their eyes and make innuendos for later in the day. I'm blessed to have parents who really mean it when they make those vows. . . Who meant it 45 years ago, who have had countless fights and difficulties and have somehow made it to the other side, and who, 45 years later -- with bad knees and bad backs -- still choose to be together and to love one another. . . . with all the flirtations of 45 years. I praise God for that blessing. Joel and I aren't there yet but it took Mom & Dad awhile to get there too and so I have hope for us :>) Joel and I still have heated arguments that make me wonder if we'll last, and I pray that we can continue to find the determination to make it work and the hand of God soothing us when our tempers are close to their limit. I pray that eventually we make it to the "other side" and realize we're done butting heads and can really appreciate what we have because we worked so hard to get here. Know what I mean?
My parents married young and Mom was bare foot and pregnant within the year (and subsequent years). They, too, had to finish their degrees with children and life (Mom finished 30 years after graduating high school -- that's totally awesome!). Dad was so typical in his wanting to do what he loved: sports, coaching. . . And Mom tried to be a good wife while struggling to discover who SHE was/is. . . I can very much identify: Joel torn between wanting to do what he wants to do but knowing he should be present for our family, and me, struggling to figure out who I am and what I want out of life and what I need from Joel (he's constantly asking me to just tell him what I need from him. . . exasperated most of the time that I'm still figuring that out).
My parents fight and they make up and I can see when they get annoyed with one another and choose not to fight . . . and, thinking of the two of them makes me smile. I like that they are still partners after all these years: taking on the challenges of life, trying to figure out their budgets, their priorities, where God is guiding them . . . and they do it together, as partners. I smile identifying with the feeling of having someone who knows you so well and who can share a moment with you with just one look (like Mom noticing how much Tim playing with his daughter Addie reminds her of Dad with the same mannerisms and Dad seeing the look in Mom's eyes). . . And, I appreciate that they're not perfect, that they, too, experience the frustration in one another when "you still don't get it after 45 years?" :>) Very cute. . .
I pray that I have that in my future. . . That I can have a life partner who shares all my life's highs and lows, and who, years down the road, will be able to share a look with me as we reminisce.
Song of the moment? Alan Jackson's "Remember When" -- seems appropriate for Joel & I . . . falling in love, breaking each other's hearts, busy as parents, and hopefully, eventually, remembering when. . . (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Y4NTXT96EM )
Best wishes and much love. Praise & thank you God for my parents and your love in their lives these many many years.
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6 years ago
2 comments:
You are truly blessed Liz. I too was blessed to have parents who after 63 years still had that twinkle in their eyes when they looked at each other. Who still held hands when they walked. And I am blessed to have had a dad, who as he was dying still managed to hold especial pride in the fact that they had been married for 63 years and took the time to tell the hospice nurse about that fact.
We are the blessed ones. It doesn't happen for everyone, not that they didn't mean it when they said their vows but who did manage to trudge their way through everything and come out on the other side. I wish more than anything that every child could be as fortunate as you and me. To be able to look at their parents like you did and have the pride that you have and that I had.
Most of all both of you must keep the lines of communication open and be willing to listen and hear what the other is saying. Sometimes the listening part is only half of it, we actually have to hear what they are saying. You and Joel will make it. You have history and you are still young. Just keep loving each other no matter what and never let things get so bad that you just give up trying. If something bothers you, make the other understand how much and hopefully they will hear what you are saying and act on it. All my love. Mom P.
Awwww - thank you!! :>)
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